The Fog of Worksheets

Ok, serious-time now.

I’m under the sneaking suspicion that my students need worksheets. I’ve been giving them worksheets for classwork/ homework and it has gone over well-relevant questions, library silence, heads down working, wheels turning, soon to build a better democracy. It almost seems that over the years students are conditioned to this type of work. I feel that students see worksheets as a primary way of learning. Does this mean that they devalue our think, pair, share discussions? The worksheet wasn’t a fill in the blank-thing it asked some difficult critical questions. Has anyone else had this experience with worksheets-the uncanny level of silence that sweeps over a rowdy sixth-period class when they are given a worksheet task?

Oh, also did anyone discuss the VTech shootings with their students? I did and got some really mixed reviews. We used this to lead into Keats with the ‘life-cut-short theme.’ After the initial discussion on Tuesday, my students got really pretty pissy about having to read an article related to the shooting, write a response and then discuss. It seemed that every other teacher in the school had been using the tragedy as a teachable moment, thus burning out my students. Just wanted to see what reactions others got.

OMG. Spring Break

Day One of my Spring Break.

I’ve been looking all over for a Budweiser Bikini brief bathing suit, but to no avail. I’ve got my “U.S.A. No. 1” beer bong out of my foot locker. I’m getting ready to head down to Ft. Lauderdale, me and my pals are working on are base tan here in So Cal, so we don’t embarrass ourselves down at the MTV block party. We are getting all ready to go.

But neither I nor any of my friends are going to do this. We like to stay drunk close to home.

I’m getting ready to look for work in Los Angeles, which means cutting my hair to its proper 1950 trim. Shining shoes, and remembering words and names to drop-Christensen not Schafer, differentiation, standards, etc.

All of my visits will be cold calls, and I’m sure all my years of bullshitting have lead up to these moments when I look a principal dead in the eye and speak eloquently about how I push each students Zone of Proximal Development. ZPD-was that really the simplest term for this. I’m gonna drop Vygotsky bombs all up in these crap factoriesl-wish me luck.

After this it’ll be planning the next units.

Always Carry a Blade

I don’t know, maybe it’s just the three am talking or maybe it’s the concussion I just sustained, but I think that some of our best days as teachers come from our worst. What I mean here is that I feel I learn more from my mistakes in the classroom than I do from all the theory in the library. Like today when my lesson went to shit. As my students quickly filed out the door I thought what the f. How the hell did that one blow up in my face. I thought I understood my classroom. I believed I understood our pacing. I could swear I understood their behaviorisms. I was sure that I had everything planned down to combat any rebel rouser. Teenage Riot. It didn’t go as planned, but I gotta tell you I learned what not to do ever again. First-while I may find limericks funny and a good use of our time some students can get offended. Whiny Bastards. Second-always have a go-to in case your lesson goes over like a turd in a punch bowl at choirboy convention.

Now I carry an extra activity in my back pocket. I’m not joking here. I have an extra activity folded up and ready to go in my back pocket just in case. It pertains to the unit, but it’s something that I just didn’t think we’d have time for. Not jk-ing here folks. I really keep it in my back pocket. This is where I used to keep my switchblade. My activity is my last defense in case everything form my lesson plan goes fubar on me, a contingency plan. Ace up my sleeve.

Oh yeah, wear a helmet when riding your bike. I’m a jackass.

Communism in the Workplace

-One problem that I had faced with giving out grades, I’m a pretty easy and encouraging grader, is that students who did very well and produced good work had begun to slack in what they handed in to me.

I tended to give a lot of my writing grades on where students were and how they had progressed. At first, some students began to take this as a sign that I would give almost anything an A or B, so initially some of their work had begun to slide below what I felt their ability level was.

When students who were big achievers began to see that “low performing” students were getting the same grades they began to slack on the quality of their work for me. Everything seemed to kind of warp in the classroom for about a week or two, where I was getting crummy work from A students and pretty good work from D-F students. It was a strange ordeal. I’m a go with the flow kind-of guy so I just sat back to watch how this whole thing was going to unfold. I’m glad I did, because when I finally assigned their Unit Anchoring Project (UAP) everything seemed to settle. It seemed that students who were A-students as well as the D-F’ers handed in great work, because they had a sense of ownership in the assignment.

I feel that if you are able to give your kids ownership in their projects and an interest in the assignment you’ll probably get the best results all around.

I have a rubric that I assigned for this, but will probably do this with a checklist next time to allow my students more wiggle room.

Teenage Throat Kicking 101

“No Dan. No I can’t kick them in the throats. No, it never crosses my mind.”

I often find myself telling this to my friend Dan. He is amazed at the sheer amount of will power I must exhibit to not yell, or drop f-bombs at or with my students. He is also amazed at my “commitment to a gag,” which is how he refers to my going to college, pursuing a credential, and actually entering the teaching force.
While at times I would like to tell some of my students to keep their mouths
shut, I haven’t yet. Over the first few weeks of teaching I have found it helpful to establish procedures that will inhibit there opening their mouths in the first place.
Journal writing is one such technique. While journal writing has all sorts of real applications, such as writing-fluency, etc. I have found that it best suits me by keeping my kids mouths closed for the first ten minutes of class. This gives me time to take role and address individual needs as they come up. Once I have all of my administrative stuff out of the way I feel that I able to focus on instruction rather than all of the other hooplah that seems to be associated with this profession.
There is still one sinister menace that I still face on a daily basis and that seems to be everything the associated-student-body does to make high school more enjoyable for students; rallies, in-class announcements, in-class handouts, etc. The one that gets me the most are the “get out of class free cards.” They usually come in the form of some pastel-like slip of small paper and they usually enable the bearer of the card to get out of your class and to the glorious rooms of the attendance office, dean’s office, someone else’s room, etc. I found one method early on of dealing with these-it is the wrong method. Ignore these slips and just hand them to the student at the end of the period. Don’t do this for many reasons. One-sometimes they are important. Two-when students don’t come to an administrator when they’ve been summoned the administrator will question the student for their tardiness, and that student will rat you out quicker than, I don’t know, but quickly. What you should do-glance at these pesky little flyers and check for a time on them. If they specify a time give them to the student when he or she may need them. If they don’t set aside five minutes at the end of the period when your handing back papers and let the students take care of what they need to. Your students’ trips to the office, unless disciplinary, should never take longer than five minutes anyhow.
One caveat here, don’t f around with medical slips, give them to students when they come in, and give students passes to the medical office whenever they ask for them. Even if you know Joey Santorini is just trying to get out of your class, it’s a lot easier to feign dumb than deal with a lawsuit from the Santorini family.
So, I usually just tell Dan that I kick them in the throat with procedures.

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This Is The Best Blog Ever Created